26/04/2024
My Daughter turned 18 this weekend, so I bought her a locket with a picture of herself inside. Thankfully, She's now finally independent.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water. I was like well damn.
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the fridge all along.
My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.
Which nation values skinny girls the most? France. They all want to bone-a-petite
What's the difference between a crap sniper and a constipated Owl ? One shoots an can't hit....
I've just seen an elderly Muslim woman wearing a sheepskin burkha. She looked like mutton dressed Islam.
"Horses on the loose in Central London" Nice to see Camilla & Anne get off their arses for once and do something
Did you hear about the clumsy Turkish chef? He made a right mezze
Yesterday I accidentally stepped on a copy of the Herald and then had to spend ages hunting round to find some dog s**t to wipe it off with.
Please see below CCTV system with remote viewing on your phone or tablet
1 x Hikvision 8 Channel DVR/NVR 4-ch Line crossing,
Includes 2Tb surveillance hard drive
1 x 10 amp Hikvision fused power supply unit
8 x Hikvision Full Colour night 1080 HD Bullet cameras
8 x Network points including cable, trunking, tips boots, baylins and
everything required for a neat installation 850 / point
1 hrs labour for setup and
configuration DVR and phones R 850.00 inc vat per month
Rental is quoted over 36 months at 0% escalation
