02/08/2025
****PSA ... VERY IMPORTANT****
Last week we introduced you to the doohickey to turn the knobby-guy towards the toothbrush. This week we’d like to introduce some of you, and reacquaint others of you, with this sorcery.
Mainstream media would have you believe blinker-fluid is required. We’re here to tell you that you’ve been lied to. Everything we’re about to tell you is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so hold onto your butts….this is gonna get wild.
On the left side of your steering column you should find a similarly-looking stick protruding from the column. Say hello to the Dingus-Leever (DING-US*LEAVE-ERR).
This lever, when used correctly, will indicate the directional turn you’re about to make and signal such turn/s to the motorists around you – true story. It comes in quite handy to let the drivers around you know when you are going to turn….which you know to do 100’ before you make said turn.
When pushed down (pronated) the lever will send a magical signal to the LEFT-rear turn signal. That left-rear turn signal will then begin to flash intermittently to indicate your desire to turn LEFT. You may even hear and audible tick-tock (not the garbage app)…like an actual auditory confirmation that the light/signal is working.
When lifted up (supinated), the lever will send an opposing magical signal to the RIGHT-rear turn signal, that will then also, begin to flash intermittently to indicate a desired RIGHT turn.
This is where it gets crazy….when pushed forward (anteriorly) it will freakin’ activate the high-beams….like in the movie Cars when the twin blue sports-cars flash their lights at Lightning McQueen as he roars by. This will be confirmed by an illuminated blue sideways-looking-toothbrush-thingy in your instrument cluster.
Yours may also have some other “enhanced” features, but I’m running out of room here and quite frankly, have better things to do than a tutorial on turn-signals.
So there you have it. Go ahead - use that left greasy-little-biscuit-grabber of yours and try it out….you know….'cause science and stuff. The rest of the world will thank you.
