03/18/2026
"I hate Hamlet."
"Why?"
"Because it reminds me of some of my customers."
"What do you mean? Do they throw 27 metaphors into a 3 minute monologue?"
"No. They waste my time and can't make a decision to save their asses from first base."
"A bit hard, aren't you?"
"No. Not at all. I value my time."
"Don't we all."
"Look, if you tell me exactly what you want, then perfect! I'll do whatever I can to help. But if you can't, please don't bother me. I'm not your therapist."
"Sounds like the market is tough."
"Not really. I looked at three Chevy Bolts that went for reasonable prices this morning with nearly brand new EV batteries on them. My real world customers are happy. The Hamlets? They can go play blindfolded in traffic."
"How much did they go for?"
2019 Chevrolet Bolt Premier 2LZ with 19,123 miles. Top of the line version. That sold on the block for $10,800. Including the wholesale auction fees their price was just under $12,400.
2020 Chevrolet Bolt Premier LT with 24,776 miles. That sold on the block for $8,800 since it had cloth seats along with a few minor dings and scratches. Total was just under $10,400 plus transport.
2017 Chevrolet Bolt Premier 2LZ with 34,907 miles. Identical to the 2019. That one went for $7,800 on the block. So just under $9,400 when you include the auction fees.
"That's cheap. What's the difference?"
"When GM replaced all the original batteries under recall and gave them a new 8 year / 100,000 mile warranty, they also gave their customers two options. They could either keep the models and have the battery replaced. Or they could have them bought back by them. GM cut them a check, got the title branded and replaced the battery themselves."
"Okay, so what's the real world difference."
"Absolutely nothing. Same recall. Same battery replaced with an even bigger one. But GM is legally required to brand those titles as a buyback. My customers usually save thousands and the car will have equal longevity."