08/09/2026
2026 WAM 300 Wrap-Up: I do captain my own sinking ship. But, if the Pirate's bounty collectively was over $1.7 Million a day before journey's end, I WISH a pirate's life for me.
Alas, the lone Bobcat on that Bobsled, again. It's like going on a Boy Scout canoe trip down the Rifle River with your parents, but they're at the back not paddling, and you're having to paddle and steer it from the front. Purely hypothetical though, canoes can't be steered from the front....
Yes, of course, as a soloist in my weekly rollings, that's normally my M.O. at WAM as well. But, hey, first in, first to nap, and that was my end goal. I do think next year I'll get three of my buddies to actually join our wonderful parade. I think they're feeling a bit more confident based on slow drawn coaxing over the years, and a fellow WAM'r and buddy of a X-Pro-AM-BMX buddy of mine seems like he would like more people to join his Posse, which might be my right move for next year. Next year will mark the 40th Anniversary of the Wish-A-Mile to boot. It has to be a spectacle of epic proportions.
And a spectacle of spiraling emotions this one was, and it wasn't even being drawn out of the Keenan and Kel quotes I was saying as I road through the country side on Day 3, to be asked, "Hey? How old was Rosie O'Donald when we were kids?". Just ripped out of my own head straight into my neuroses of melted, grotesque animations of Darlene and David. I think most unfortunately, I wasn't able to meet my Wish Hero, Grayson, whom I was riding for this year at the end during the Heroes Hurrah back in Marshall. Less weird than you think, but given that Grayson's Wish was to meet "Diary of A Whimpy Kid," Author Jeff Kinney, and become an Author himself one day, I'd gotten a little present of sorts to give to him at the finish. There's a letter in there I hope his parents can read, if it got to them, better explaining myself, if I didn't get to meet them all in person. Now, there's a method to my madness, but I got three books written by child authors when they wrote them, two more prolific to my childhood. "Dragon Tamers: The Rising" by Abigail Thibault, "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hilton, and "Anne Frank: The Diary of A Young Girl" by Anne Frank (post-houmous). All struggles of youth, children, fighting through adversity, pain, anguish, doubt, and the mystery of what next, is there a next. And, really, at Wish-A-Mile through Make-A-Wish Foundation of Michigan, that's kind of what we're fighting with. We ride and raise money all year long so that we can offer one undying Wish to as many of these critically ill children as we can. My Wish Hero, struggles with a congenital heart defect, and may be the reason he couldn't make it to the event, and that's fine, these are the struggles the kids we ride for have and are struggling with. I briefly talked to a young boy and his Mom at a ski chalet next to a corn field on the second day at lunch, first bite out of a sandwich to hear he'd only had his last chemo treatment under a year ago...and he was five years old, having fought cancer. That is a sobering fact, a harsh mouthful of chicken to swallow. The fact that one of our most prolific Wish Hero kids, James was still at center stage was both hard to take in, but powerful in his grace. Just two years ago he was Wish 12,000 for Make-A-Wish Foundation of Michigan, a Wish to go to Lego Land, to spend time with a Master Builder, to build a house to contain his bad memories of a life stuck between doctors visits and hospital stays, so he could just spend time in the World having fun, being a kid away from it all, to bring joy to others. And that's what he's done, that's what a Wish can do, once granted it can become an eternal light for the child and others they touch. Less than ten years old, and James had gone through one heart transplant already early in life, and to learn his body is now rejecting that heart, and he'll need a very, very particular set of pieces to get another transplant is heart wrenching. But, for James, it seems, when we talk about heart, it's about love more than anything. The joy, the excitement he brings to a room, making friends and building strength within other kids he meets fighting their own battles in the hospital with him, and the honor to have him design the custom jersey that adorned our largest fundraising riders this year is the kind of unending love, cherished memories we can all hold onto, and Hope that gives kids like James a full heart from here on in. And in we came to an unexpected Night At The Wammies on our second night, our awards ceremony for reference. Like the Dundies, a little awkward and maybe unsettling at times about what we were hearing, but that's ok, we're all family in there at that point. But, at the same time, it was strengthening in our resolve, and the positivity it brought to us, the WISH Kids involved, and the future for Make-A-Wish of Michigan. We got to hear more about James, his custom jersey, and his life long WISH that he was beginning to give to others. I would almost like to think kids like James and those before him are part of granting those Wishes and part of the fundraising to help bolster the knowledge that they are there, hoping, wishing for better times, and wanting to let other kids suffering and in need of a Wish that there is a light, their is a bigger family out there they just haven't met yet. Like James being WISH 12,000 for us two years ago, we got to induct a young girl struggling with Lupus as our 13,000 Wish this year. It got emotional quickly, and that's ok, fear, doubt, love, and hope are all powerful feelings and all can be used positively. Her Wish was for a Quinceanera (understand Spanish, spell check, Vato), and to share it with her extended family. Little did she know the Artist on stage painting at an easel the whole time was doing a live painting of her at an abortorium in full gala, pink Quinceanera gown. As much as I keep asking for I Wrestled A Bear Once... to play at my Quinceanera; I'll accept her getting her Wish is equivalent to me getting mine here, so I'm happy now she get's to experience this in full through Make-A-Wish...could you get them to play as the band for her big day?
To bring this to a close as big day's out go, this is the ride that was. Yeah, it looks flatter than it was. It's sketchy to film or shoot while blasting down a hill, or shoot uphill while I'm huffing and puffing. But, speaking of heavy handiness, did anyone see the old couple riding tandem on the riding lawnmower on Saturday, stuck down a hill before a drop into the woods, Wife screaming and husband behind her grunting in frustration of inevitability, mower stumbling on the clutch? Just the most erotic thing I've ever seen, luckily clearing my mind of a gluttonous menagerie on displays at Goob's Pub the night before. The Firecracker Special: A Salesbury Steak set atop a pile of cream cheese and bacon pepper jam, topped with pepper-jack cheese, onion strings, BBQ sauce, two habanero zinger fu**in' taquitos, on a brioche bun! I looked at that A.I. image intently so as to abstain gaze to my left, as a marriage slowly dissolved, an aggressive husband forcefully choked down a bacon cheezburger with the false aplomb of Kevin with a cupcake, telling his wife with infant, "shots, not water, NOW!" I'd be icier to that demeanor, as cool as a cucumber as I rolled first onto lunch that first morning on a frigid Friday. At the end, I'm not cold about the ride at all. That was just the feeling of the Bio Freeze going on, after enough pain overtook my right leg thirty miles into the third day I couldn't put any weight on it, and had to numb my leg out three times over to push through the final 70+ miles. But, no, the weather was in our favor, whether my body favors what I'd like to do or not. I had punctured a fresh rear tire in Marshall the night before the event, so it pi**ed sealant on me all of Friday. With as much as its stuck to my seattube over the years of countless tire fails, maybe I'm making an aerodynamic crescent over the rear wheel as I go? Jammed a plug in on Saturday morning for a good 170 before it ripped out for a good final photo op while swapping a tube in the final possible stop before rolling into Marshall. Speaking of miles, did anyone before lunch on Sunday run into a missing route sign some Country Fried Hick removed? I mean, you wouldn't have run into it. Sunday was much, much more than a 100 mile ride for me. Did make a friend with a nice Amish family in who-knows-where-ville when I realized something was very wrong, and I followed a horse and buggy for a hot few minutes. On the other hand, one of their children popping his head out of a window yelling, "Good Morning," like Too Small in "Hook" was maybe the most right thing that could have happened.
As someone very close to me likes to say, "Love You, Miss You (I'll Hit you up for money in November for the 40th Anniversary WAM300 as we begin again!)".
* ALSO, FREE THE TOILETS!!!
BTI Soma Fabrications JBI.Bike Velocity USA Make-A-Wish Michigan League of Michigan Bicyclists - LMB Handup Co Fat Wreck Chords Panaracer SE Michigan Gravel Road Rides Dirty Donut Race Voler Apparel
