Slick Mitt's Used Car Lot

06/08/2019

Car lot is back open, bi***es.

07/18/2017

Do you wish I was President yet?

06/18/2016

Don't believe the new guy on the block.

Slick Mitt Romney delivered a sweeping broadside against Donald "Cheeto" Trump on Thursday, laying into the new used car- power dealer with a sharper attack than any other used car dealers.

11/07/2012

Previous owner spent $100 million. We can now offer this ride for a steal. Swing by the lot and let's talk some business.

11/06/2012

Do you have a tattoo you regret getting? Visit Slick Mitt's by the end of the week at 585 Commercial St. Tattoo removal will label you as part of the 47% by many Republicans.

11/06/2012

Remember, if you want to find out what's wrong with our cars - you need to buy one today! Tomorrow, we will let you know all the details.

11/01/2012

At Slick Mitt's we have discovered the key to selling used cars. Invite people to your lot and tell them they need to come for disaster relief. All you need is about $5,000 to hand out canned goods to the first patrons that visit your lot!

Mitt Romney was really concerned that his "Storm Relief Event" in Kettering, Ohio yesterday would look like a dud, so he and his team stocked their donation tables with $5,000 worth of supplies at Walmart.

10/26/2012

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY - Come to Slick Mitt's Used Car Lot to see the one, the talented, the only Meat Loaf!

The singer joined country stars Randy Owens, John Rich and Big Kenny, as well as the presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, for a particularly rousing rendition ...

10/26/2012

At Slick Mitt's we pay women 25% less than their male counterparts. This way they work 75% harder to sell a car!

10/25/2012

Let me introduce you to the customer of the week!!!

10/24/2012

Our newest Slick Mitt promotion. Bring by a copy of your tax returns and win a chance to ride in the backseat of Donald Trump's car! The winner will be determined by which set of tax returns that I can pretend is mine.

10/23/2012

I am a son of Detroit and I love American cars. If you believe that, then I think we should talk about paying sticker price. I will throw in undercarriage treatment.