09/23/2026
🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE HOGZ: THE CASE HAS BEEN SOLVED. 🚨
Y’all remember when somebody crawled under our truck AT AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and stole our catalytic converter? It really happened.
Well, after weeks of investigation, countless man-hours, reviewing surveillance footage, questioning several suspicious squirrels, rounded up all the crack heads and probably spending more government resources than the catalytic converter was worth…
THE POLICE FINALLY GOT BACK WITH US.
And apparently we owe the people of Catlettsburg an apology.
It wasn’t a crackhead.
It wasn’t some dude with a Sawzall.
It wasn’t an inside job.
IT WAS THE DAMN MOTHMAN. 😭😭😭
Apparently this red-eyed bastard flew down from Point Pleasant, crossed state lines, landed behind Catlettsburg Elementary at approximately none of your business o’clock, slid underneath the Hogz truck, cut our catalytic converter off, tucked that mf under his wing and disappeared into the Appalachian night ✍🏼
Authorities believe this may explain several other unexplained Catlettsburg incidents.
Missing catalytic converters? Mothman.
Trash cans knocked over? Mothman.
Streetlights flickering? Mothman.
Your baby daddy not answering his phone? We cannot confirm it… but Mothman is currently a person of interest.
McDonald’s ice cream machine down? Federal investigation pending.
We always thought Mothman showed up before disasters.
Turns out he IS the disaster., dawg 😂
The good news is the Hogz survived. The food truck survived. And we finally have closure.
The bad news?
That mf still has our catalytic converter.
So if you see a 7-foot winged creature with glowing red eyes flying over Catlettsburg carrying what appears to be $73 worth of scrap metal…
DO NOT APPROACH HIM.
Just tell him Taylor said bring my s**t back, baby 🫶🏼
Until then, we’ll continue doing what we do best:
You’ll hear us before you see us, playerrrr… and you’ll smell the BBQ before either one
What OTHER unexplained Catlettsburg crime do y’all think Mothman is responsible for?
We’re building the case file. Hahahaha
