11/04/2026
Kerry Fuel Flash Update: WARNING, Contains Evident Clickbait, Social Triggering & False Misinformation's.
The Battle of Whitegate Refinery began in earnest early this afternoon with an influx of Garda's carrying little sticks in a vaguely sinister manner. And in another surprising turn of events the army has also joined the party despite promises they were actually heading off for a well deserved romantic sunny holiday in Lebanon. I dont know, maybe they just took a wrong turn while out looking for a wet fuel station. Either way, a massive big green army wheelie bin (not a tank as previously reported) is on site threatening to remove some inconveniently parked vehicles. (Source: The Irish Examiner)
It's also been reported the Garda riot squad has released pepper spray on the peaceful heroic protesters outside the refinery. One of the affected protesters was heard screaming back "would ye ever put that f**ken pepper in a bit of sauce for us so we can lash it on our steak & chips ya ignorant blaggards". (Source: Some lad on FB)
I can also personally confirm that the announcement from DPD yesterday, that they would not be delivering today due to the fuel protests was blatant misinformation possibly designed to scaremonger the populace into a state of frenzy. I know this for a fact as I received a delivery this very lunchtime, despite receiving a txt msg from them at 09:01 this morn that my parcel would be delivered on Monday. I can only assume DPD are in cahoots with the Gov tax gouging criminals in Dublin to sow yet more misery and twisted WEF type mind games on the peoples of Ireland, for shame. But fair play for delivering my stuff, so thanks for that.
There's a reported 600+ fuel stations that have now run dry across the state. However, I have been assured almost all are still serving breakfast rolls and tea so settle down, there's no need to go mental just yet. (Source: A lovely old lady with a limp in the local Spar shop)
However, a far more deeply disturbing report is in circulation that, due to the ongoing calamity, some pubs are running out of alcohol as the delivery trucks have either run dry themselves, or have, more likely, joined the protest in Dublin. If this is indeed the case, then Godspeed lads. If it stops raining for 10 f**ken minutes I will head to town later and endeavor to find the truth on this important matter, hopefully the bars will not run dry until I'm finished. (Source: Some dude on TwiterX who heard it from his cousin)
To the farmers, hauliers, contractors, bus & taxi drivers, bikers and everyone else out there fighting for justice at this most epic of protests -
We see you. We hear you. And we stand with you. And if possible, please bring and empty the slurry tanks on the Dail, and then send them the bill, inc Delivery Charges, VAT & Carbon Tax for services delivered in kind 🤪
