Reinventing Yourself Weekend

10/19/2020

All the tips, ideas, strategies and client-enrollment, practice-building principles made famous for over a decade in the live versions of the ACS (Advanced Client Systems) are now captured and thoroughly contained in this comprehensive, content-rich video and audio program featuring many hours of te

09/28/2017

09/14/2017

Here's why reinventing your relationship with yourself is the answer to high productivity, self-confidence and success.

In lovingkindness,
Alex

(and why the voices in your head aren't your friends)

09/07/2017

Reinventing Yourself Weekend has gone global!

Identity (and why reinvention can be so challenging)

09/07/2017

*Keeping your life small enough for safety*

"Belief simply means you are hiding your ignorance. Rather than destroying it, you are hiding it, decorating it, making it a little comfortable, convenient, acceptable."

~Osho

I once had a man in my online retreat who had a radical awakening moment.

He discovered all the things he would not allow himself to do for fear of what the internal voices would say to him if he failed.

When he got to Day 16 in the retreat, to the “Laugh! exercise,” that’s when the lights came on for him BIG TIME.

He was by himself, looking around to see if anyone was there to hear him and judge him if he were to break out into laughter for no reason. That’s when he realized that the REAL judgment was coming from within himself! He wasn’t even allowed to laugh out loud for fear of looking foolish.

After a bit of resistance from the voices in his head, he did the exercise anyway and proved to himself that it was possible to do it.

He began to note all the other ways his life was made small by avoiding the beating — avoiding THE IMAGINARY BEATING that could not hurt him at all!

He noted the relationships he missed, the wonderful skills he could have learned, the excitement he could have experienced and the fun he could have had.

How many of us cut parts of our lives away because of the voices that interfere?

“You’ll look stupid.”
“You’ll waste your money.”
“That looks too hard.”
“They’re going to take advantage of you.”
“That’s silly.”
“You don’t feel like it.”

What we don’t see is that this shrinking to avoid the beatings is the REAL damage done to us.

As a result, we choose living “safely” in tiny, secure prisons in our minds with the only things posing real harm to us: The voices.

Rather ironic, right?

Because you will never do anything good enough to appease them. Their only goal is to set you up so that they can later knock you down.

For example, if you listen to them and not say anything at the meeting, they will beat you with, “Why didn’t you say anything? You’re such a coward!”

If you do say something at the meeting, they will beat you with, “Well, that was a stupid thing to say. Now everyone knows you’re an idiot!”

Living and abiding by the voices is a lose-lose proposition.

I spent an extensive amount of time training in a Zen monastery so I can be clear about who’s who and what’s what when it comes to the contents of our minds. I now help people out in the world sort this nonsense out so that they too can drop the voices and become their authentic selves x 10.

And I can tell you that it’s an exciting, scary, joy-filled process!

Not everyone is cut out for it. We are addicted to the status quo. I think Pink Floyd has a song called “Comfortably Numb.” Thoreau described it as, “leading lives of quiet desperation.” Both point to what the Buddha called “suffering,” or better termed “dissatisfaction” — living a life under the direction of the voices.

Tolerating that feeling of things not being quite right. Stuck in the familiar same-ol’ same-ol’ because getting up and making change is presented as a life threatening proposition.

I’m here to tell you that the only life being threatened is the ego’s. The voices are terrified that you will take charge of your life and, as a result, they will be left behind and die. So they will do anything to stop you.

Which is good.

That’s the challenge!

Their job is to stop you. Your job is to keep going.

Now the question is, are you willing to start?

In lovingkindness,
Alex

p.s. I will be talking about the voices and what to do about them at Reinventing Yourself Weekend, coming right up next week!

09/06/2017

Countdown to Create a New You! (Episode 5) with Devon Bandison

As we’re gearing up for Reinventing Yourself Weekend next month (September 15-17) in Denver, Colorado, we wanted to introduce you to our line up of presenters and circle leaders. And we thought it would be fun to do that in the spirit of Create a New You!

08/30/2017

Think about “you” for just a moment.

How would you describe yourself?

When you meet people, what do you typically tell them about yourself?

And if you were to talk longer and get to know someone, what would you share?

How about your friends and the people with whom you have been around the longest? Like family. How would you describe yourself given what they know about you?

Now imagine yourself alone in a room. Just you by yourself. Start filling in the blanks about what you know about yourself that no one else may know.

Start to collect all of these traits and characteristics, adjectives and roles, identities and personas.

Now, imagine that I’m adding everyone of them to a large whiteboard.

I’m neat at first, with columns and rows. But soon I’m adding stuff into any space available, creating half rows and half columns with smaller and smaller writing. Notice me running out of room quickly!

There’s your name, your bad habits, your saving graces, your social security number, your embarrassing secrets, your proud moments, your friends, your talents, your obsessions, your fears, your insecurities, your job title, your favorite foods, your hobbies, the book you just read, your enthusiasm for THESE activities and your lack of motivation for THOSE activities…

They’re all YOU!

Or are they.

Maybe some of those things are what you decided to focus on and believe in at the exclusion of all other evidence. Maybe that’s what someone told you in kindergarten. Maybe you were given that against your will. Maybe you know others who are MORE those things than you are (and certainly LESS those things too). Maybe you just got so accustomed to it and so comfortable with it and so much attention for it that you didn’t bother looking any further.

Maybe you’re panicking a little right now as you watch me take my big whiteboard eraser to this jumbled up, tangled up list that’s you and start wiping the board clean.

"No! STOP! That's ME!"

As the last few remnants of black ink remain and the white board regains dominance again, perhaps you’re relaxing a little. Maybe your shoulders have dropped and fallen back. Or your jaw has gotten less clenched. And the tightness in your gut has released.

Maybe you’re breathing a tiny bit easier seeing NOTHING on the board at all.

Maybe the clean, open space is the truth about you.

That nothing was ever nailed down, solid, permanent, real, indelible, fixed or forever.

That the only thing real right now is as far as you can see and beyond. With the steps you can take that open up to even more views. And then from there, more steps that open up to more views.

More steps. More views. More beyonds.

That's what it's like. When there's no "you" in the way.

In lovingkindness,
Alex

p.s. I'll be continuing this exploration and exercise at Reinventing Yourself Weekend on September 15-17.

08/29/2017

Steve and Jason of "The Not-So-Serious Life" explore How to Reinventing Yourself.

The Not-So-Serious Life explores Reinventing Yourself and the Reinventing Yourself Weekend event.

08/28/2017

Countdown to Create a New You! (Episode 4) Featuring Jason Goldberg

As we’re gearing up for Reinventing Yourself Weekend next month (September 15-17) in Denver, Colorado, we wanted to introduce you to our line up of presenters and circle leaders. And we thought it would be fun to do that in the spirit of Create a New You!

08/22/2017

Countdown to Create a New You! (Episode 3 with Karen Davis!)

As we’re gearing up for Reinventing Yourself Weekend next month (September 15-17) in Denver, Colorado, we wanted to introduce you to our line up of presenters and circle leaders. And we thought it would be fun to do that in the spirit of Create a New You!

08/18/2017

Countdown to Create a New You! (Episode 2) with Alex Mill!

As we’re gearing up for Reinventing Yourself Weekend next month (September 15-17) in Denver, Colorado, we wanted to introduce you to our line up of presenters and circle leaders. And we thought it would be fun to do that in the spirit of Create a New You!