09/07/2024
Wilson's World 🌎
Hey everybody! It's been a while since I talked to you last but since I don't have fingers I have to rely on my sister to type my stories for me and she's been awful busy. She got married last weekend to my BFF Ryan, AKA "Maytag" as we call him. There are a few things that have me perturbed about that day. First, I was not invited to anything. They had their rehearsal dinner at my camp and I wasn't invited to that, I wasn't invited to the wedding, and I wasn't invited to the reception either. They even came to my camp for pictures and had Rush meet them there but never told me! They thought they could distract me from what was going on if they hired a really nice babysitter for me for the day. If that wasn't enough, they had the audacity to put the bar bill under my name! They even advertised that the drinks were on Rush and I! We all know that means me because Rush hasn't worked a day in his life and doesn't have one penny to his name. I have no idea how much something like that costs and I haven't been saving for it because I wasn't expecting it. I've mostly been investing my money and putting it into retirement because I just turned three and I'd like to retire by the time I'm seven. I haven't gotten a bill in the mail yet but I have come up with a few ways I could handle this. One, I could just not pay it, then they'll turn me over for collection and I'll have to go to court. Two, I could "borrow" my sister's credit card and pass the buck back to her. I could access a check from my dad's business account and try to forge his paw print but Barb, the bookkeeper would find it and hunt me down in a flash. I could cash in my retirement but that seems a bit drastic. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that you always have to have a plan B so I have a bag packed with all my essentials- water, food, treats, peanut butter, and my Kong. I wasn't sure how to keep ice cream cold for a long trip and I can't fit the couch in my bag to sleep on so I'll have to leave those things behind. If the feds come knocking I will sneak out of my house, run through the cornfield and head south until I reach Mexico. They'll never find me there. I might even grab Priscilla on the way if she's up for it. I have heard they have tacos in Mexico and nachos with cheese 😍 My sister brought Rush and I back little sombreros when she was there a few months ago. I would have rather had a taco but whatever. Maybe she should have saved money by not buying us sombreros so she could pay for her own darn bar bill and I wouldn't be in this predicament! Anyways, I truly hope that I don't have to execute my backup plan because although I've heard the beaches are nice in Mexico, I don't know how a hound dog would fare with the heat and I don't want to have a run- in with the infamous cartel. Although if I buddied up with them maybe they'd pay my sister's bar bill 🤷♂️
Is your car trusty enough to make it all the way to Mexico in a pinch? If you can't answer that question with confidence, give my dad a call at Chase Car Care! Ask for the pre-vacation check-over and he will go over it with a fine tooth comb to ensure you have safe, reliable transportation for your trip. Just don't tell him it's your getaway car...what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
XOXO,
Wilson
