14/07/2025
I’m going to be straight up here. Two years later and I still relive that day, every single day. I’m still not the same and at this point, I don’t think I’ll ever be. When I’m alone and my brain has time to wander it always goes to the day of the crash and I mumble out to myself, ‘I’m sorry, Erin’. Whenever I look at my phone and it says 9:09, I mumble out ‘Hi Erin’ as we used to always send each other screenshots of that time with whatever background we had, usually the rally car. I haven’t mentioned any of that to anyone before, but now you all know. It’s a couple weird things that I’ve been doing since that day. The hardest thing for me as always, was not being able to say my final goodbye to her and I’ll have to deal with that for the rest of my life. I guess I just don’t move on as fast as some other people do.
As for the future, progress on the new rally car has been extremely slow. It’s still not even caged. Motivation is low, partially due to my own battles, but also due to the cancellation of the New England Forest Rally. Nothing against that awesome event or anyone involved with it, but the distance I would have to travel for the nearest two events is hard to justify with the increased price of everything, especially gravel tires. Part of the reason for the Cayenne build was that for way less money, I could go off roading in comfort with Sherry, Rusty, and friends for days at our own pace and schedule for a fraction of the cost of one stage rally. I really need a solid push to get this new car built, but without a codriver or crew, it all feels meh.
I’m trying to do my best every day, even though it feels like a losing battle most of the time.
