05/30/2026
To everyone who keeps asking if my chimney is “safe” — I have officially completed my own inspection report.
The chimney is standing.
The chimney is straight.
The smoke goes up.
And yes, the homeowner is still standing on the roof obsessively checking it like a man who has lost all peace in life.
I installed this thing thinking it would simply heat the house. Instead, I have become a full-time chimney inspector, draft analyst, wind investigator, creosote detective, and stainless-steel emotional support technician.
Every little noise, drip, gust of wind, or puff of smoke has me outside staring at this pipe like it owes me money.
At this point, I don’t even know if the chimney has a problem anymore or if I’ve just developed a personal relationship with it.
Status: Approved.
Mental stability: Pending.