Smart Cars Zone

20/01/2014

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30/12/2009

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.” [...]

10/12/2009

Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car.

07/12/2009

When travelling Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.

01/12/2009

Drunk Driving Test

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer.Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air".Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test."Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line".Man: "Can't do that either."Officer: "Why not?"Man: "Because I'm dead drunk!"

30/11/2009

Out of Step As a older man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering his phone he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Frank, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on route 290. Please be extra careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them !!!"

28/11/2009

Don't Say This #2
So, uh, are you "on the take", or what?

Gee, officer! That's terrific. The officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?

Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to the .44 magnum in my glove compartment.

When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video.

Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

14/11/2009

A dream job?


Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked
the would be Car Sales Executive, "And what starting salary were you
looking for?"
The guy said, "In the region of £75,000 a year, depending on the package."
The
HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 30 days paid
holiday, every weekend off, full private medical and dental care, final
salary pension scheme, and a new company car every 2 years - say, a BMW
6 series convertible?"
The interviewee sat up straight and said, "Amazing!!! Are you serious?"
And the HR Person said, "No, ...but you started it."

14/11/2009

What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? An airbag.

14/11/2009

Yo family so poor that when I took the skate board out of your grass yo mama said, hey come back with are family car.