Elaine zitner

Elaine zitner ICF certified leadership and life coach. I help you get unstuck and move forward with clarity and co

09/22/2026

Hands up if you want to be rejected…

insert crickets

Yeah. Me neither. Like, not at all.

But I’m gonna do it for the love of learning and the ripple effect of the work I do.

People talk about sales as service, feminine selling, methods, maps, strategies.

I’ve read about most of them and yet somehow all I hear is “used car salesman trying to sell me a lemon.”

Which is weird because I BUY coaching and support and all kinds of stuff and don’t feel like those people are trying to swindle me.

But when it’s me? It just feels weird and unnatural.

So I’m working on it.

Asking for things. Inviting people in. Putting myself out there. And being okay with a yes or a no.

Because I love this business and I love my family and I want a life where I get to spend a lot of time on both.

So I’m going for 100 no’s by December 10.

Could be asking to speak somewhere, pitching myself for a podcast, inviting someone to work with me, whatever, basically making asks I might normally talk myself out of.

And if you’re good at this, making the ask without getting all weird about the answer, can you tell me what helped?

I want to hear from real people who actually do this. Not the glossy brochure or the 6-step methodology.

What actually helped YOU?

If you want to follow along with my quest for 100 no’s, like this so I know and I’ll keep sharing.

Oh, and the other goal this quarter: another “How to figure out what’s next immersion”. If you want on the waitlist? Comment NEXT and I’ll send you the details.

09/11/2026

I love options when it comes to what to wear, dinner, how to spend my very limited free time…

And I thought having more options would help when I was career confused and trying to figure out what to do next because I felt “meh” and dull inside.

It didn’t.

Which was annoying because I LOVE a good options analysis. Pros and cons list. Maybe even a SWOT analysis 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I was in my brain analyzing the next job instead of getting clear on what I actually wanted to create, how I wanted to work, and how I wanted work to fit into my life.

I was asking: Which option should I choose?

Instead of: What do I actually want?

And I was letting fear, perceived status and safety run a lot of the show.

Those things matter. Paying your bills and eating food are, obviously, essential.

But they’re not the only things that matter.

I think there’s a way for more of us to find or create work that aligns with who we are instead of fitting our lives around our work.

And a lot of what helped me get clear wasn’t analyzing more job options. It had nothing to do with LinkedIn.

So I’m starting a series on non-job ways to get career clarity sharing what helped me and what helps my clients, in case some of it helps you too.

Follow along if you want more joy, more life and more of YOU in whatever comes next.

09/09/2026

I’ve been TERRIFIED of the kindergarten transition, today was our first hour of gradual entry and now I’m so excited but not for the reasons you might think.

Of course, I’m excited for Jules. He’s smart and loves learning. He’s a little shy at first and then comes out of his shell. I know he’ll make friends and this marks the start of him being in the world without us (as much).

What I didn’t expect was to feel excited about the possibility of me making new friends.

We’ve lived in this town for four years and have built a fairly small community. It’s lovely and standing on the tennis courts today, I realized there’s a whole new group of people for us to connect with and that feels really fun.

One of the best parts of being older parents with young kids is getting to learn from people who have already been through it. So…

Tell me everything! How did the transition go for you? your kiddo? Did you make friends? Was it easier/harder than you expected?

09/04/2026

I genuinely don’t know the answer to this one.

If getting clear on what you want + getting your spark back has a ripple effect on your family, friends, team and everyone around you…

Is talking about that meeting women where they are?

Or reinforcing the idea that doing something for yourself needs to benefit everyone else too?

👇 I really want to know what you think.

Send this to someone you think could use a nudge, I’d love to know what they think too.

✌️ez

09/01/2026

Hanging out used to look a lot different. Thanks for the visit Beck Keen

08/24/2026

I’m not a perv. You are. 😂 Plus my dad is on here. And JE’s parents too.

And even if I was, that’s not what this page is about.

This page is about getting your spark back, figuring out what’s next, and creating work that actually aligns with the life you want.

And that requires some stillness. Some quiet.

Which is HARD these days. At least for me.

I can feel the hamsters 🐹the busyness, the constant motion, my brain just keeps going. It’s a lot.

I like myself. I like being alone. And it’s been a LONG time since I’ve had a few days of solo time.

Really looking forward to the pause o lf this flower retreat if the hamsters will let me chill out.

Follow Elaine zitner if your hamsters are making it hard to hear what you actually want.

08/23/2026

If I were spending the time + money on coach training, business training, therapy or fitness, I wouldn’t think twice.

But I feel so weird doing something for pure joy?? 🤯

Does anyone else feel this?

Being away from my family, especially with a 5-year-old with a broken collarbone about to start kindergarten ……just for joy?

Seems wildly self-indulgent.

I booked this a year ago. I was still nursing, barely sleeping and desperate for some space after an insane five years of babies, moves, job changes, sick parents blah blah blah…life.

And tomorrow I leave for a flower retreat on a remote island.

No agenda.
No learning objectives.
No outcomes.

Just space to be.

And I’m SO excited.

But I also feel weird about it.

Which has me wondering why it feels so much easier to invest in myself when I can justify it as growth, learning or productivity vs this would bring me joy.

Would you feel weird about doing something just for joy? Am I alone in this weirdness feeling?

👇 What’s your version of my flower retreat?

Camping under the stars? A weekend with girlfriends? A day completely to yourself?

08/18/2026

I spent years wondering what to do with my life.

Assessments. Advice from friends…someone once told me to open a “friend shop.” Just put up a sign and let people come in, lol.

Family urging me to climb the ladder because it looked right on paper, even when it wasn’t right for me.
All of it was useful.All of it was also noise.

Turns out, the answers were inside me the whole time. I just didn’t know how to find them.

And if I’m honest, I wasn’t comfortable being still and quiet long enough to actually listen.

Here’s what actually helped:

5) I checked the importance and my energy.I figured out how much capacity I actually had for the exploration.

High importance and low energy? The first step wasn’t finding the answer. It was creating enough space to hear myself.

4) I tracked what lit me up and drained me for two weeks. No analyzing, fixing or solving. Just collecting data.

Eventually, I used that data to create roles that gave me more of what I wanted and less of what I didn’t.

3) I created a living, breathing vision. I imagined what I wanted based on what I valued, what energized me and how I wanted my life to feel.

Mine included more creativity, flexibility and time with the people I love.I didn’t worry about how I would make it happen yet.

2) I separated facts from stories.Once I had a vision, I watched my brain try to talk me out of it.

“I’d have to take a pay cut.”

“I’ve wasted too much time.”

So many believable stories and very few actual facts.

I sat with the stories and beliefs and questioned each one.

1) I stopped asking, “What should I do next?” - I asked that question for years, and it never once gave me an answer.
Instead, I asked:
How do I want to feel?
How do I want to spend my days?
Who do I want to spend them with, doing what?
What’s my role in creating that?
Those were the questions that actually moved me.

If you want the guide, comment CLARITY and I’ll send it to you.

Follow for more ways to figure out what’s next or share this with someone who’s looking for clarity but keeps asking themselves the same question 100 different ways.

I was at a rave in Tel Aviv (where I lived) 30 years ago with no cell phone, calling my parents collect periodically to ...
08/12/2026

I was at a rave in Tel Aviv (where I lived) 30 years ago with no cell phone, calling my parents collect periodically to let them know I was alive. Meeting randoms and working at a hostel.

Now I’m hiding in a hotel bathroom eating a sandwich so I don’t wake up my kids and can get a moment of silence.

Aging is weird.

Some people do all the things to fight it.

Others lean all the way in.

Mostly I’m just like… wtf happened?

I’ve had a whole life. A career. Adventures. Kids. So many different versions of myself.

And somehow I’m still 19.

And also an old lady.

At the exact same time.

It’s weird, no? 😂

✌️ EZ

08/11/2026

I zoooomwd out.

Way out into the life I wanted. I

I made that more exciting than the fears of change.

It took a while for the pieces of the puzzle to click and to work on all the “stuff” that came up in the process (stay tuned for part 3)

And I’m so glad I did.

Check out part 1- what I thought would help but didn’t and come hang out if you want more on the messy middle.

✌️ ez

If you want a deeper dive on these questions and the process comment “CLARITY” and I’ll send you a free guide. And if you want to do this together, comment “NEXT” and I’ll send you the waitlist for the next live What’s Next Immersion.

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